>:] circuitBeta

I was made to think about how I think. I thought about some of the things I have read, stared at the obvious, and its always those things on the outside that interest me. It happens sometimes when I am talking to someone, or reading, it happens most when I am listening to the words coming out of my own head. I may not be interested in what is said or written as I am interested in the inspiration gained from the words. The spark that gives the kick which puts life into motion.

Once that is done it too becomes the obvious and may then be reinvented into something else. Its how the web of thought is made. Maybe you think the same way, but probably I am just thinking too much. I see it as my undoing. Ominous? I rather be overtaken by dance than paralysis, by joy than sadness, by love than hate, by thought than emptiness. The latter is the opposite that balances my life.

. . . .If everyday I push this a little farther will there soon be a day when I stand here naked? Will the people I know stare at me wondering who I am when before they thought they knew all they needed too? Maybe I should close my mouth before you see me write something unforgettable, regrettable, irreversible.

I bought another Plato book to replace the one I lost, this one was half the cost and way better.

Introduction
This introduction was a lot more informative than the other book. Filled with facts about Plato and others, it was worth the time it took to read.

Apology
This dialog takes place in an Athens court room at the hearing of Socrates. Its the only one I have read so far that has a reference to Plato, he is in the court room observing the proceedings. Socrates tells his story/defense, it involves speaking to the gods through an oracle, Pythian Prophetess, of Delphi. They say he is the wisest man. He didn’t think it was true, and began a quest to find a man who is wiser so that he may logically refute what was said. In the process he makes enemies with politicians, poets, and artisans. He calls out those who claim to be wise and are not. He sees this to be the reason he has ended up in court. He then proceeds to say that wisdom is knowing that your wisdom is worthless and only god is wise. I am disappointed in the words, maybe I am not reading them the way I should, but its the message I see. (more…)

I received this book from a friend. In short it is about a young man, Christopher McCandless, who wants to live his life traveling but in the end his travels take him to an early demise. Unless maybe you believe in fate, then he died just when he was supposed too.

The book offered a view as to why different people may do some of the things McCandless did. Particularly interesting was the authors own account of climbing the Devil’s Thumb, a peak east of Petersberg Alaska. He does this climb alone and writes about how going solo brings higher highs and lower lows. Its easy to realate too, when in the company of others many things end up muffled.

At one point in the book McCandless encourages a friend to leave his sedentary life and live on the road. I began to think about how many people in this world I will never meet. Based on a few facts (income, residence, etc.) you could create a pretty good idea of who those people are and the places you may never go, how predictably sad. I need a shirt that I could wear on travel, something that says “Odds of Seeing Me Today: 1 in a Million” my way of making everyone else feel special. Of course I see myself every day. I need to sell the shirts so I can feel the good vibes.

I have never taken a class in Philosophy, nor read a book about the subject. I have my own ideas on how to live life and when it ends, but mashing those together with ideas from 2,500 years ago seems as though it would entertaining.

The book is not what I expected. I thought it would be like a text book, stating believed fact one after the other. Plato’s writings are in a format similar to a play, in that you read dialog between actors, and each dialog is short like an act.

Introduction
The book starts off with the editors introduction, which I found boring and as soon as the author suggest to stop reading the introduction and begin reading the dialogs I do so.

Protagoras
I begin with the first dialog which is named after one of the principal ‘actors’, Protagoras. It begins slow but then Socrates gets a groove on and weaves a logical net of relationships between virtues, emotions, and similar concepts. My head starts thinking about how it would be cool to map/model this into software for the purpose of viewing these relations and poking at them in a simulated environment. I will have to do that at a later time though. (more…)

People are left to make what they will with the pains put upon them.

Pain is rather interesting to think about, because its not always bad and its opposite, pleasure, is not always good. Maybe they are not opposites but more like vectors representing the same stimulus in different directions, where the direction is influenced by your mind. For example a pleasure can wear out its welcome, become annoying, and then suddenly your mind has turned a pleasure into a pain. So if its all in your head why wouldn’t you turn every pain into a pleasure?

Makes me wonder about what drives people, is it to embrace pleasure or to avoid pain? Why do you act the way you do? Am I writing this for the pleasure of exploring thought or am I filling time to evade a pain? I can say both enter my mind so I must be influenced by them both as well.

Yesterday I asked a question and received an answer.
The inside me hurt.
The outside me played along.

Can it be a lie if everyone believes?

Today I asked a question and received an answer.
The inside me saw hope in reason.
The outside me smiled.

If no one sees anything wrong, then how can anyone say its wrong.

Now I ask a question of myself
The inside me wrestles with itself, tears at itself, feeds on itself.
The outside me comes out of a stare with that realization.

I’m self fed.

I watched the movie 300 tonight. I thought the first half of the movie was sexy, casual flesh everywhere, the King and Queen getting down to business, and the out of control red haired oracle, I felt a little weak. The second half was action packed, I figured after the first wave of slaughtered Persians the King still had over 200 muscles he had not flexed yet, Leonidas was pretty much set for @ least a few more waves of Persians. Overall it was good, and I say that because I enjoyed myself while watching it, but if I didn’t have anyone to make the occasional comment too I don’t think it would have been so much so.

When leaving the theater I took a different road, which then had a detour, that I ignored and went another way. My way of injecting something random in my life. Any more its not even a thought, I just start doing the things I wouldn’t normally do. If something different happens maybe I’ll see something new, or as with the music, find something old. I began to think about how this road would get me home, maybe not as fast as another road but eventually I would get there. What about being Pope? Maybe my life isn’t on the most direct path to that either, but I am white and probably will be old one day, so I’ve a got shot.

When the absurd falls short of being humorous what does it become?

I read a review for this book in a local paper, The Entertainer, and it sounded interesting. I couldn’t find the book here but did find it in a store named Boarders, in Maryland @ the Montgomery Mall. I remember the girl who directed me to the book, she looked to be impressing a boy with her art work of clothing designs, I remember because I was impressed as well.

The book is about a boy’s (Ronald L. Mallett) dream to make a time machine. A dream that has taken the author to the heights of science in pursuit of seeing his father again. At times it was difficult to read, because of the emotional links I found between the story and myself. As with many things, science is made of building blocks. What I saw was those blocks were not used exclusively to build new theories, some of those same blocks were instrumental in finding his wife, and healing his pain. Similar blocks can be found in you and I, when reading a book, meeting a friend, or smiling at a stranger. Its these shared blocks of knowledge that connects us to one another. If we couldn’t share these words there would be no meaning for you and no connection for us.

Knowledge connect thoughts and people, thoughts and people are not so different. After all you probably already have an idea of who I am, a concept of what I might say and do, you have a little me encapsulated in thought running around in your head. Good luck controlling that one.

Through out the book I was amazed, and pondered over how far people can go, how far I have come, and how short my measure. It left me wanting more. I thought of reading about things related to my work, but I wanted to know more of things I knew nothing about, Mr. Mallett wrote that he took an interest in philosophy. I then decided that I would go check out the philosophy section at Barnes & Noble to find my next book.

I constantly listening to music, even if it is just in my head. Below is a list of the last 7 CD’s I bought, along with my fav track from each.

• Juno Reactor: Odyssey 1992-2002: Rotoblade
• Holly Brook: Like Blood Like Honey: Saturdays
• Leather Strip: Yes - I’m Limited, Vol. II
• Crystal Method: Vegas: Comin’ Back
• Madonna: The Confessions Tour: Lucky Star (Live)
• That 1 Guy: Songs In The Key Of Beotch: One
• Kid Beyond: Amplivate: Wandering Star

I still buy CD’s, I don’t trust that iTune files have the same quality, plus there is the benefit of not having any DRM attached.

Some CD’s I buy and wonder why I didn’t buy them before. The music is like a renewed friendship or visiting an old residence, Comin’ Back, I cannot get enough of that song. Its a rush to kick back and wander through a place I didn’t know was forgotten. How many other places are there locked away inside of me waiting for a sound, a smell, or a touch to unlock them. I remember for a long time the air of fall gave me that rush, the feeling use to come around every year, but then one year it wasn’t there. Just the opposite of the music, something gone but not forgotten, something misplaced, something like a friend lost.

I was going to say that this was the start of something, but really the idea was the start and this is an experimental implementation of the something. The thought was to make a place where I could record some of the things I wrote.

I started reading recently and found myself making notes. They might seem rather random if your not me, in fact if you are me there is a chance that you have forgotten how to get back to that time/place where the thought made sense. Sometimes I get interesting thoughts in my head while having conversation with friends, though I have noticed its only certain friends. One commonality among them is a level of trust. It takes some amount of trust for me to be comfortable to explore certain ideas. I am just lame that way, and it is one reason I am not sure this will work. I don’t know you, how can I trust you? And if I don’t trust you, the things that are probably most interesting, maybe left in my head.